Trump Dreams Up A Win For The Democrats

by Bernard McCormick Monday, May 09, 2022 1 Comment(s)

Most of the recent press has painted a grim picture of the Democratic Party's chances, both nationally and in Florida, for the fall elections. But the respected longtime political columnist Steve Bousquet offered a little hope for the Dems in last week's column in the Sun Sentinel. Bousquet said two recent events may prove so unpopular for Republicans that the Democrats might use them to reverse the fall tide. 

Bousquet wrote that the leaked Supreme Court abortion ruling and Governor Ron DeSantis’ pledge to sign an open-carry gun law both run contrary to Florida public opinion, and if the Democrats pound both issues home it might make the difference in the upcoming election. Bousquet went so far as to say he could not imagine two more powerful issues as gifts to the Dems. 

Not so fast, Mr. Bousquet. 

There is another issue, or two, that might eclipse those as election fodder for the underdogs. And they come directly from former President Donald Trump — or at least they did in a dream that seemed to be inspired by Bousquet's column. In sleep, Mr. Trump was encountered in a Palm Beach bar.

"Where do I know you from?" was our safe conversation opener.

"I used to be President around here," he said.

"Oh sorry, I didn't recognize you without an orange jumpsuit. But you're just the man I was dreaming to meet. I know you are proud of your reputation for never telling the truth on purpose, especially when it comes to stolen elections, and some people wonder what you would advise the Democrats to do to steal the next Florida election. Forget party stuff for a minute."

"That's easy," Mr. Trump replied. "I'm surprised nobody consulted me before. The Democrats should simply say that Republicans are going to repeal Social Security and Medicare." 

"Are they really?"

"Of course not, but what difference does it make? Truth has nothing to do with anything. And all the retired old people who love me would go crazy. That's the two things that matter even more than abortion or guns or stolen elections to that group of voters. They'll go crazy if you even mention touching Social Security or Medicare."

"But won't the Republicans deny it?"

"Of course they will, but that's exactly the point. But you just keep asking them every time they show up anywhere if it's true they are doing away with Social Security and Medicare. The more they deny, the more people think they are hiding something. Notice that's how I work. I start a rumor by saying 'a lot of people are saying...' even if nobody is saying it, and then I repeat it every five minutes, until gullible people believe people are actually saying whatever it is I say they are saying. Works every time. Besides, there is some truth to the Social Security and Medicare stuff. Senator Scott actually said something close to that in his recent plan to get elected. And they all have voted at one time or another against expanding social services. They cry 'socialism' and it scares people to death."

"Very clever, Mr. Former President."

"And when they insist they won't repeal Social Security and Medicare, you say they must be for socialism like they have in Cuba, because those two programs were condemned originally by Republicans as socialism, and how could they be for socialism when they are against socialism. They will get all frustrated and forget what they believe, if they believe anything."

"Does this mean you would endorse Democrats if they give you credit for your advice?"

"You must be dreaming."

"In fact I am, and it's time to wake up to reality."

“Please do, and feel free to share my advice with Mr. Bousquet and the other fake news specialists at the Sun Sentinel.”


40 years

This Comment had been Posted by Joan Ruggles

Yo Bernie, I can't wait to fill you in on the past 40 years! Please email me and I will reveal everything!

Add new comment