The Existential Interview Reality

by Bernard McCormick Thursday, June 10, 2021 No Comment(s)

With everybody staying home so much of the last year, we all saw a lot of TV interviews on all manner of subjects: politics, sports, civil rights, finance, religion, and sex, to name a few. Regardless of the topic, we heard repeated use of creative terms as we recognized the intersection of the existential and systemic influences on the conversation.

We have been in this rodeo before, and without getting over our skis and spiking the ball ahead of our pay grade, we invariably dreamed we were involved in one of these interviews. In this dream, we were both asking and answering the questions. For ease of simplicity, we refer to these roles as Q (for questions) and A (for answers).


Q. Thanks for joining us to talk about this existential reality. You know the rules. We belong to the Larry King school. We never read a book before we do an interview in order not to prejudge our guests. We will ask only questions we know the answers to, and if we don't like your answer, you can thank me for having you on the show and go home.

A. Right, and you know I'm only here to promote my book. Whatever you ask me I will turn my answer into a plug for the book.


Q. Roger. And what do you think of the world today? Do you recognize the existential presence of systemic systemicism?

A. Maybe I can deal with that in my book.


Q. And what is your book actually about?

A. I don't know. I haven't read it.


Q. I thought you wrote it.

A. Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.


Q. Isn't that from a JFK speech? What does that have to do with your book?

A. President Kennedy didn't write those lines. Everybody knows Ted Sorensen wrote his stuff. Nobody writes their own books today. But I do intend to read my book. I've been running around with the NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup, and Trump's new Twitter stuff. But I will find time.


Q. What about the bipartisan issues? People want to know where you stand.

A. I'm working on that seven days a week, 24 hours a day.


Q. That's a lot of time. Does that count the afternoons I see you chasing broads in Las Olas bars?

A. No, that's on my own time.


Q. You obviously manage your time well.

A. Any man who can't handle his job in two hours a day is in over his head.


Q. Is that another Sorenson quote?

A. No, that's my Uncle Chris. He divided his time between selling real estate and the track.


Q. Well, our time is up. We just have time for a half hour's worth of commercials. We'll ask if you get lucky in our next interview. Thanks so much for casting light on this important subject.

A. It is always a pleasure to discuss existential indigenous tribalism. I look forward to dreaming another book with you.

Add new comment